OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
