he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
My vagina is very pro this idea
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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