So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
