Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
