3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize