Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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