Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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