you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I want is dick and wine.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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