If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize