big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
