just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you made out with another girl for some wings
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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