oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
