Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
