did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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