You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
