She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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