I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
