He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
