Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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