Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
