That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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