i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
