he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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