yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
