She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
