I heard we made out
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
