Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I enjoy the company of your penis
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
