They should really pass out barf bags in church
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
