yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
