Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
a search helicopter?!
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
