not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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