Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
