Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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