My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Randomize