I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize