I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need water and some morals
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
