So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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