My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
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