I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize