Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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