It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
