So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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