just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
