Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
