I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
tell me about the fingering
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