omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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