kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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