I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
