On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
