my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
the room spins SO much faster in panama
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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