she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We're too hungover to prance.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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