areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
