I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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