I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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