I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
