oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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