I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
