haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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