would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
As shirtless as possible
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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