Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
