Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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