so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I enjoy the company of your penis
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
