So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
