Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
