But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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