You really coming over, don't trick.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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