i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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