If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
