That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
