hell yes lets make some ravioli
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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