90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
