I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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