just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
