Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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