hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
