Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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