Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
He better not be in your backpack
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
