I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
